Random Class Notes-II

" ..“You’re adorable, baby! The moment I saw you, I was swept off my feet. These little evenings have been so lovely, I wonder how beautiful the rest of my life with you be like!-thus, that guy let on his sweet nothings upon her. She just stood still, transfixed for a moment, for she wasn’t so mushy. Only when she said sorry, he felt his heart pumped back. Love doesn’t ask for words, perhaps just a comforting silence; few tender moments to cherish a lifetime. He knew his heart beat for that faceless stranger, his inspiration. He was careful to conceal his emotions, while painstakingly trying to know her; she was worth it, worth every reason that he didn’t seek. Finding a reason not to love someone is easier than the otherwise. More than just attraction and admiration, it was about happiness, a learning experience within a tale of love, hence perhaps -inspiration. He wished to give it some time, to flourish, aware that he might be just a bit too late. He didn’t bother though-he didn’t seek reciprocation, an acceptance maybe of a passion which had penetrated every cell of his.

T’is way past midnight, he thought while waiting at the station. Anxiously he puffed a cigar, hoping to calm his nerves, while a moment of indecisiveness gripped him. As smoke went up the 84mm cylinder, he wondered how things turn into ashes so easily, even life. Life had been a paradox, a living contradiction to him, yet he took things in his stride with a smile. A sense of indefiniteness flows in, as he tried to search for something in the cobweb of his mind. Several thoughts wrestled to be pondered over, in the background of soft rumbles, some unheard voices. From a shining star, he had been brought down by misfortunes to this point; he didn’t mind though-he had always been down to earth. He loved to be hated; it gave strength to his convictions, the solitude it brought along, he loved it. He knew the truth; he wasn’t evasive, a little indifferent maybe, for some things had lost its meaning since then. He mocked the smooth linings, the strong demarcations of black and white; his heart, which he always protected like a child, cuddled among the rainbows. Now, here he was, waiting the dawn of a new realization, to hop on a ride to make his own destiny.

Let's not Quest

T'is dark,as is the path ahead

The masks,let me shed

Don't fear,be my muse

While to emotions,tears add hues

Can't trust?

In the face of light even shadows live a lie

Like me, you too shall fade

Still,loving you,just let me try

In solitude,I find peace

Ah gossips!,if only they would cease

Reasons tumble

Seeking sanity,I find life only to fumble

Don't question

I seek no answer

Dilemmas,conflicts,I doubt them;

Beneath lies the hope I see

Someday I shall be another dream,where everyone smiles

Till then,let me dwell in the reality,walk those extra miles

In defeat,I'm gracious, you see; 

Alas! you couldn't break me

The world never understood a mad man

Why should thee?

Let me fall, burn,bruise my knee

Don't help,let me learn

Find myself,beat the dust,stand up

Enjoy the things I yearn

Reject me,you'll.You can't fathom,how I weather each storm

Of passion,let me plant some seed.Till then,just let me bleed

Bad times I wrote on sand

On stone let me write the rest

In a moment of rejoice,live

For a better dream,let's not quest

p.s-pic taken from http://bjanecarp.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/assassins-quest1.jpg

.....

१. जलने दो, धुएं सा खो जाने दो;रोने दो, सागर सा बह जाने दो
  भुला दो चाहे, बन रंजिश, युही कभी याद तो आने दो
  मोहब्बत न कर, नफरत को भी पी लूँगा
  इकरार भले न कर, इनकार से ही जी लूँगा
  फूल मुरझाये तो क्या, कंटीली राहो में भी  चलकर तुमसे मिलूँगा !

२.ज़ख्म बहुत है, और दर्द भी कुछ कम नहीं
  ख़ुशी न मिली,तेरे खातिर आंसु भी पी लू, कोई  गम नहीं
  नज़रो की नजाकत को कागज़ पर चाहा उतारना, पर लफ्ज़ न मिली
  यह दिल शायर बनना चाहा, तो साली ज़िन्दगी ने कलम ही चीन ली !

I in India

Ah! t'was futile,I lament,like thee

Searching I in India,I lost me

T'is identity crisis.

Emotions trapped in parenthesis

The world's small,yet peace needs to crawl

On poor's hunger,rich dines;India doth shines

Sue corruption,shall I?for none got its due

Values once hailed,by dirt stands veiled

Thoughts maligned and manipulated for greed

Pride's lost and I failed,for a land once mine

Life's tough,we crib and complain

What of those,whom we look down with disdain?

Bribe gods, yet unmoved by a silent plea

For basic needs,so indifferent, are we?

Naked and hungry,as they sing songs to feed

We turn our faces and munch along;wonder to where we lead

Of hatred,break the wall,why fight?

Shine even in darkness;light the hearts like the divine

Clothed and fed,of better times,may the child dream

Act,lest it remain a trashed paper scheme

Respect work and people,even those deemed low

Road to equality,let the land of Gandhi show

Why blame others, when conscience’s the key

Let thee be the change the country wants to see !

Silence

An expression unspoken, unheard

An absence so profound

Neither rhetoric nor absurd

A conversation, without a sound

T’is silence, not words

Where solace I found.

Anger or hostility, I mean not

Nor an indifferent question I shot

In silence, I love thee

No jealous doubts to hurt me

Oh please, don't gawk

Don't destroy it by a small talk

For speech, perhaps it’s the end

Yet emotions coyly lurks in the bend

A noisy void or a silent scream

In solitude, no more a distant dream

In its essence, I dissolve

Thinking afresh, I evolve.

The failures and loss, I fear not

To tears, put up a stoic defiance

Yet I broke the silence

As I speak the words I jot

Dreams

The sound of silence I hear, I feel thy desire
A dream, the mind and the soul conspire
Rationale I search, for pragmatic I am
Seek the reality, delusion I condemn

Dreams I saw, when I was raw
I owned, though they did have flaw
The ones I get, aren't mine
I don't care even if they shine

You dream in bright red,
I'm just black n white, you said
Trying to find self inside a maze
I can only think of purple haze

Restless random thoughts I experience
With hope,lay them void of pretense
Am I living the dream?I feel dazed
Yet on my path,I walk unfazed

Shifting paradigms I observe
Desire the smiling curve,
If that I deserve !