Love-As I perceive it

Well..each time you meet an old friend after a long gap or made some new friends, after few casual hi s and hello s, the conversation somehow boils down to whether they have a bf/gf? I m sure most of us must have faced this question a umpteen number of times. Once you answer this , the next question inevitably seems do you love someone( even though they really mayn't know what love is :P). Love- What is love? The very word seems to send down a pleasant shrill through everyone’s heart. Some define it as a sense of passion; for some its a sensation; and yet some describe it as a spontaneous expression. Individuals vary, so do their feelings and hence the way they define love to be. Are you in love?Is that person the right one for you?These sort of questions intrigue old and young alike, the rich(spoilt brats) and the poors( nerds and geeks included) as well and these are the sort of things which help in the growth of various networking sites, astrologers(fake ones) and all sorts of damn things which advertise themselves banking on these human emotions...Well. some seem desperately pathetic as well... searching profiles and sending lots of requests knowing that most of them are sure to be rejected.(Don't know how they somehow get the idea/feeling that people might be seeking someone to love through the net /on sites:P) Ya, agreed, all seem to dream of spending some quality time with their loved ones;be with them -physically or atleast in dream(well..I have seen guys spending 12-15 hours on phone, their heads bent,eyes sleep-deprived and yet they don't want the other person( the 'jaan' or 'jaanu') to think he/she is now bored and don't want to talk now..As we grow up, the effect of movies seem quite visible on some.Seeing romantic flicks day after day, they get so hopelessly romantic that sometime life seems just another dream for them. They think of going on long drives, romantic candlelit dinners, walking hand in hand by the beach n seeing the sunset..(I am sure you would get plenty of examples where people fill in their choiciest date dreams on their personal profile:).But as most of you must have already guessed, very few are the lucky ones.
You see, every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you somehow get attracted(crush), then perhaps fall in love with your partner.You anticipate their calls, perhaps even want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. That time, it feels as if falling in love is so easy, not at all hard, a rather spontaneous experience. You didnt do anything. and maybe that's why its called 'falling in love'. You might often hear the expression "swept off my feet" as if like you weren't doing anything and suddenly sometime happened to you.Is love dat passive or spontaneous? But is the euphoria of love to stay forever? Nah, it fades. It’s a natural cycle of every relationship.With time, phone calls become a bother( don't you understand I'm busy? Why the heck you call so often?), touch is always NOT welcome (it’s a definite no-no; you may even be accused of harassing, so be beware!), and your partner’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts (earlier it was like-oh! I love when he’s crazy. It’s so cute! And now-God! I hate his craziness, it’s so annoying at times; I feel embarrassed). The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you tend to realize the dramatic differences between the initial stages of your love and now the duller or angry subsequent stages. At this point, you ponder over whether you are really with the right person or not? Is this really the same person you fell for, you were once crazy about? As you reflect upon the euphoria of love you once had, you begin to desire that experience with someone else and that’s where relationships break down.
A successful relationship is not about finding the perfect person (perfect is just an idealism like the ideal value we get after putting in various simplifying assumption, who themselves don't hold usually), its more about accepting a person with his imperfections intact, and sprouting the seeds of love perfectly.We often see relationships failing and partners blaming each other for their unhappiness.Instead of trying to douse the inside fire, they search outside to compensate their feelings, some sort of emotional unfulfillment.and most of them take the shape of extramaritial affairs-most notable among them being infidelity.Other than that,people try to get into all sorts of absurd things-some get workaholic, some alcoholic all trying to find something to cancel out their sense of losing something.Yet there are others who look at this as some sort of destiny/fate and try to move on, carry on their life(with few modifications). People tend to look out of relationships when the answer is itself in front of them. It’s possible that you may fall in love with someone else; I’m not denying that possibility. And perhaps you would feel better also, but TEMPORARILY. But you’d be in the same situation few years later. So the key is not going about searching your Mr. /miss perfects, rather trying to love the person you can, perfectly.
Sustaining love is not as passionate and spontaneous experience as falling in love, it requires hard work. You have to work day in and day out to maintain the same level of glue in it. And it takes time, effort and energy. Most importantly, it demands wisdom, knowing your compatibilities and being able to support. Mind it-Love isn’t a mystery. Relationships have rules, things that you can do and you can’t –just like the universal laws of gravity and all. If you play your cards right and according to the rules, results are mostly predictable. Love is therefore a ‘decision’-a matter of choice, not just a feeling.
Well, say destiny determines who walks into your life. It’s up to you who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go. Love is something we always try to discover all along. It is actually within us only, others being just the media to find it. Whether you hang on to the feeling of love and live it honestly, it’s up to you.So, I guess its better we stop trying to be desperate in our search for mr and miss perfects, learn to live yourself and people that you know, each day.Btw, I didn't say stop dreaming(world won't be as lovely and colourful if we do that)